Anal training is a term you might come across often while shopping around for different kinds of anal sex toys. It is basically the process of slowly stretching your sphincters to accommodate larger and larger objects. As your training objects increase in size, the smaller objects will become easier, and much less painful to insert.
For most people, the goal with anal training will be to have anal intercourse without any pain ruining the experience. A lot of people are outright put off anal sex at all because of the chance of pain, or a previous painful experience. By slowly training your anus over time, you should be able to have completely pain free intercourse.
Other people though want something more. They aim to train their anus to accommodate increasingly large objects. Reasons for this can vary. Some simply like the feeling of fullness you get from holding objects in the rectum, and larger objects give a greater sense of fullness. Some see it as a challenge. Whatever your reason or goal, approaching it slowly and over time is the safest and least painful way to achieve it.
You mean like doing weights with my butt?
Not exactly. But the same kind of principle applies. If you're going to making use of muscles that you haven't used often before, a little bit of training is in order. Basically, the point of anal training is to get your anal muscles used to the fun activities you have planned for them. This doesn't necessarily mean preparing your anus to take the biggest dildo you've ever seen. If you plan to engage in basically any level of anal sexual activity, some level of training will definitely help. Butt plugs are one of the best tools you can use for this. By starting with a smaller plug and moving onto larger ones, you can properly stretch your muscles over time, and prepare yourself for bigger and better things. We have a range of kits with multiple different sized and shaped plugs, so you can truly tailor your anus to the kinds of experiences you wish to have.
Getting started: It's all about you.
There's no real cookie cutter guide for how to go about anal training, or how much you need. The main objective is just to make sure that you're having fun and pleasure while engaging in sexual activity. After all, there's no point in using and buying toys to enhance your sexual experience if all they do is cause pain and discomfort. So, make some decisions ahead of time as to what you actually want to be able to do with your butt, set some goals, and gradually work your way up to them. If you aren't sure how far you want to go, or are just doing this out of curiosity more than anything, anal training can still be helpful. Just start as small as you're comfortable with and stop when you feel satisfied with your progress.
To help you assess your progress and set some goals, we’ve created this quick quiz! Answer a few questions to get to know more about your ass and where you are on your personal anal training journey. Try it now!
What do I need to start anal training?
Well, you don't NEED anything except lube. For some people, it's perfectly comfortable to start with a couple of fingers and then move straight onto a penis, plug or dildo. For the less lucky among us, some small, straight-edged, tapered butt plugs are a great place to start. Nothing too girthy either. You're aiming to stretch your muscles, not tear them open!
The answer to this is always yes. More lube is good. If you've been working your way through all these articles, I could probably just write the word lube 50 times and call this paragraph done. Your anal passage has no way to lubricate itself. Putting things up there dry can be extremely painful. It can cause tears (both kinds) and bleeding. Lube is incredibly important. And the right kind of lube. Depending on the materials your toys are made of, you might need a specific kind of lube. Head over to our guide to lubrication and make sure you've got the right kind.
Now apply the lube generously. You want it all over everything you're planning to use in your anal experience. On your anus. In your anus. On your fingers. On your penis. On your toys. Hell, cover your sheets and wallpaper in the stuff. If you think you have enough, you probably don't. Pretend your butt is a turkey and keep basting it up. If you really need more advice on this, then head to our page on how to insert butt plugs where I cover applying lube in a little more detail.
In place of lubrication, some people like to use numbing creams in their anus to help reduce the pain they feel. I would NEVER recommend this. Pain is your body's first response to tell you something is wrong. By numbing this, you can accidentally push yourself further than you intended to, and further than is safe. It’s better to avoid these entirely and with responsible, careful stretching over time, you won’t feel any pain anyway.
Whichever method you choose, you should ALWAYS use lubrication when inserting things into your anus. Without lube, it doesn’t matter how much stretching and training you’ve done, it’ll probably still be painful. Get everything nice and slippery, and take your time.
If you have decided to try going in through the back door, there are a few things you have to know first. When having anal sex, it has to be said that preparation is key. You don’t want to hurt yourself while you are trying to have fun, so you need to go about preparing for anal sex carefully.
The guide on this article involves using fingers. You can also use our anal training butt plugs to train your self for anal sex, refer to this guide on how to insert and remove your butt plug. To learn more we also have our butt plug guide, and don't forget this if you're curious on how a butt plug feels.
Assuming your rectum is relatively clean, the first step to any anal encounter would be to stretch out your anus. Many people who are just starting out with anal sex dread this step, but it is very simple and painless if done correctly.
You should have a good quality lube on hand for this step. Find a lube that suits you and doesn’t irritate your anus. Refer to our guide on lubricants to pick out the one that suits you best. Apply the lube to your anus, and to the area directly around it.
Relax your self with your finger
Many people will find it best to start the stretching process by simply rubbing their finger around their anus in a circular motion, like a massage, in order to get accustomed to the feeling.
Get them involved
Lots of couples practice anilingus (rimming, ass licking) before anal sex in order to relax the sphincter and allow the anus to open up. Rubbing your anus with your finger produces a very similar effect to this.
Time to insert your finger
Then, once you are satisfied that your anal massage is done, try slowly inserting a finger, preferably your index or middle finger, just a centimeter up your rectum.
This shouldn’t hurt at all, as you haven’t really touched any of the tricky areas which come after, but it will help you get used to the feeling of having something inside your anus, no matter how shallow.
Time to get deeper
All these preliminary steps are designed to help loosen up your sphincter in order to get your fingers inside with as little pain and discomfort as possible. So, once you feel ready to proceed, apply light pressure to the narrowing that’s just beyond the 1 cm mark. Your finger should slide in slowly and at an even rate.
Making sure it's all lubed up
It might be a good idea to pull your finger out a few times before you do this step, and then put it back in, so you bring more lube into the cavity itself, rather than just have it around the outside of your anus, where it serves no purpose at all.
Once you get past the sphincter, release the pressure, and keep the finger in place without moving it much for around a minute or so.
Your sphincter may start to contract and tighten on its own. This is could be due to anxiety, but you should focus on releasing it consciously. It is advised that you push out with your rectum while you do this, as though you were having a bowel movement. Remember, your finger and your sphincter must work in synchronization.
When you are used to having a finger up your rectum, and the muscles of your sphincter are fairly loosened up, you can push your finger further up the rectum, into an opening just beyond the sphincter.
This shouldn’t hurt at all, in fact you shouldn’t be able to feel it, unless you’re rubbing your prostate, or the other side of the vaginal wall. Go around the opening and feel it out with your finger, just so you know how much space there is in there.
Repeat with two fingers
Once this is done, carefully and slowly remove your finger, making sure that the sphincter does not clench up while you’re doing it. Now the procedure is repeated, but with two fingers.
You can use either your index and middle finger, or your middle finger and ring finger, whichever feels better for you. Start pushing them in slowly, with even pressure, and at a continuous rate, just like before.
Try to hold them together firmly, so they don’t change positions relative to each other, as the point of this step is to start stretching your anus enough to take a penis or penis-sized toy.
When they have passed through the sphincter and into the opening, wiggle your fingers around in there a little bit. This should feel quite good, and help prepare you for the feeling of being completely filled afterwards.
Repeat with three fingers and you're ready
For some people, this will be the final step. However, it is recommended that you try to repeat this with three fingers as well, especially if you are going to have anal sex with a penis or a penis-shaped sex toy right afterwards. If three fingers are too much, and you feel pain and discomfort, go back to two fingers, and try again later.
Either way you can continue to gradually build this up until you feel ready to start using a toy.
There are two main types of sex toy that will help in this endeavour: Butt plugs, and anal dilators.
Butt plugs are usually available in an “anal training kit” which is actually a collection of three or four different plugs. These will all be different sizes, usually starting with something fairly modest and small, and building up to ones that are actually quite large. You begin by using the smallest and holding it as long as you feel comfortable with. Once you can insert and hold that one without any pain or discomfort, you move onto the next. You essentially repeat the process with whatever plugs or toys you want to until you reach your desired size.
This doesn’t all have to be done in one session, and it would probably be best to space the journey out over a few months. You also don’t have to move on at all. If you feel like your anus has reached its limit, stick with the size you currently use and make the most of the pleasure it gives you. Bigger isn’t always better!
While less of a sex toy and more of a tool, an anal dilator can also be a massive help to your anal stretching. These are exactly the same as vaginal dilators and are essentially a kind of reverse clamp. You insert the device closed, then open it up and hold the anus in the open position for as long as you are comfortable with.
Don’t overdo your training!
If you feel ready to get started, then let’s go for it. A lot of people like to start with just one finger, your pinkie finger if you're a complete amateur. Gently slide it in and once it's in, massage the inside of your anal passage with a small, slow, circular motion. You're aiming to gradually open everything up. Don't worry if you can't get the entire finger in at first, just go as far as you feel comfortable with going. If you encounter resistance while inserting any fingers then stop, pull it back out, relube, and adjust your angle. Sometimes it takes a few attempts to find the right angle to get things in properly. You usually want to be kind of aiming for your belly button, but from the other side. If though you're still having trouble getting anything in, DO NOT PUSH. You can cause serious damage to all kinds of important parts of your body if you do. Unfortunately, sometimes your butt will just not cooperate, and you'll have to leave it for another day.
If you've managed one finger without any problems, feel free to move on to two, or even three. The same rules apply, lots of lube, slow and steady, and stop if any pain occurs.
When you're comfortable with how many fingers you can take, and you're feeling ready (or brave) you can move onto your smallest plug. Once more, take it slow and steady, start with just the tip and only push it in as far as you're comfortable with. If you feel any discomfort, stop and rest for a minute or two then continue when you're ready. Then you can gradually move on to the next size of plug, and the next, and the next...
If you're having any trouble actually inserting your plug, feel free to check out our guide on inserting butt plugs for a more detailed explanation of what exactly you're doing.
Can it cause problems?
For the most part, any level of anal stretching will not actually make much of a difference to your everyday life. Even in some of the most extreme stretching situations, the anus normally returns to its previous size and shape within about six hours. If you regularly perform extreme levels of anal stretching though, there is a risk of permanent damage and incontinence. You need to give your body a few days to recover between these sessions to prevent this.
Pushing yourself too far is also a risk. Going too big, too fast can tear the tissue that lines the rectum, needing surgery to fix. If you go slowly though, use plenty of lube, and gradually increase size over time then pain or damage will be the last of your worries.
How long do I need to do this for?
Again, that's a highly personal thing. Some people can handle hours of anal training. Some can only handle short sporadic doses. Just be sure to listen to your body and it'll tell you when it's had enough. Either way, make sure to give yourself adequate rest time between sessions, just like you would with any other kind of muscle exercise. Around 3 hours of rest should be plenty if you feel like having multiple sessions per day. Also remember that if you have a long gap without any anal activity, sexual or otherwise, remember not to jump straight back in at the level you were at before. You'll need to drop down a couple of stages and gradually work back up, as most of your sphincter and anal muscles will gradually tighten back up over time unless you use them regularly.
How far can you go?
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The tissue and muscles that make up the rectum is incredible stretchy and flexible. Much like the vagina, it adapts as needed to hold larger objects. In the rectums case this means being able to store larger amounts of faeces. Scientists have tried to study the rectum to determine exactly how flexible it can be, to little avail. Their results were just too varied to come to any consensus on the average size.
What we do know as a reference point though, are the kinds of things that have been removed from people in surgery. These objects can be surprisingly large, including things like door knobs, bottles, and in one case even a living eel.
So, while we can’t say exactly how far you can take your anus, we do know that it’s far. If you’re planning on accommodating a penis or any good quality sex toy, you will be more than safe stretching to that level. As long as you take it slow….
As with any anal activity, if there is any bleeding or incessant pain, stop immediately. Clean up the area, and if the bleeding persists, see a doctor as soon as you can.
Just make sure you take it slow, steady and in stages.
Just make sure you take it slow, steady and in stages. Use plenty of lube and try to stay as relaxed as you can and you'll be an anal pro in no time!