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Prostate Massagers are often an overlooked sex toy. As an anal toy designed specifically for men, you might be able to understand why. A prostate massager can provide men great worlds of pleasure though and quite simply feels good, so anyone with a penis shouldn’t be afraid to try one!
Prostate Massagers: Basic Information
So we should probably start by going over exactly what a prostate massager is.
As you might have guessed from many of our other products, a prostate massager is essentially a type of butt plug. Rather than the traditional butt plug shape though, a prostate massager will often look quite different. The vast majority look like a T-shape, or a J-shape.
The most pronounced feature you’ll notice about a prostate toy though is the distinct curve they have, giving them quite a different appearance to the traditional bulb of a butt plug. This is specifically placed to try and give targeted stimulation to a man’s prostate gland. Not every prostate will be found at the same depths, but luckily there are different length prostate massagers so you can find one perfect for you.
Types of Prostate Massagers
Like pretty much any sex toy, prostate stimulators come in a number of varieties and styles. The standard version will simply have a curved, insertable section, and a base to stop it getting sucked into your anus.
As you find more and more elaborate prostate massagers, they will introduce varied additional features.
Vibrating prostate massagers as the name suggests, will vibrate! These have one or sometimes several vibrating motors positioned in the perfect spots to stimulate your prostate. Often they’ll have vibration patterns, so you can try out different strengths, or even patterns and find just what you need to experience the best prostate orgasm. It’s a bit hit or miss though. Some men think the vibration patterns feels good, while others think it’s a bit too much. Most vibrating prostate massagers will also come with a remote control, to help you control the vibration without having to constantly reach down.
Prostate massagers with perineal arms are similar to the standard models, but rather than a traditional flared of T-bar base they have a second arm. This sits on the perineum (the area of skin between the scrotum and the penis) and provides stimulation to the prostate through external massage.
Prostate massagers with cock rings combine two male sex toys in one! A common problem many men have when they start experimenting with anal stimulation is that their penis just won’t stay hard. These prostate massagers deal with this problem perfectly. The cock ring traps blood in the penis, encouraging erection, while the prostate stimulator works its magic.
Come hither prostate massagers are one of the more unique prostate toys. They often look a bit like a rabbit vibrator, but rather than simply using vibration patterns the arms move in a back and forth motion which simulates a finger rubbing the gland.
Prostate Massager Materials
A sex toy will often be made from many different materials. Unfortunately, you aren’t faced with a huge amount of choice when it comes to prostate stimulators though. Pretty much every one you find will be made of either silicone, or metal. Don’t let that discourage you though, as the two materials give you everything you’ll need when browsing for your perfect prostate massager.
Silicone prostate massagers are best summed up as the “comfortable option”. The material feels good to the touch, flexible, and able to adapt more easily to your body shape. They’re often easier to insert than a stainless steel prostate massager, and feel much more like a real penis (if you’re into that kind of thing). Generally, beginners will prefer a stimulator made of silicone. Nearly every vibrating prostate massager will also be made out of silicone, so if you want vibrations you’ll probably need to choose this material.
Metal and stainless steel prostate massagers are the tough older brother of the prostate massager family. These are hard, unforgiving, and cold when you insert them. You can apply much firmer pressure, so if a light massage doesn’t do it for you, then a stainless steel toy could be perfect. They also have the added bonus of being easy to heat or cool, so you can experiment with temperature play if you’re looking to make things extra kinky!
Ultimately, you can choose whichever material you prefer. The only important thing to note, is that if you choose a silicone prostate massager you should never use it with silicone lube. The two will react with each other which can cause some nasty reactions to happen inside your anus as the toy breaks down. Stainless steel toys, on the other hand, are perfectly safe with any type of lube.
How To Use a Prostate Massager
Using a prostate massager is quite simple, just like any other anal toy. First, you’ll want to lubricate your sex toy and your anus.
Next you can start warming up your sphincter using a finger or two. Start with gentle circular motions before inserting just the tip of your finger. Depending on your experience, you might want to rest frequently before inserting more of your finger or adding an additional digit.
As you become more experienced with anal play, you’ll be able to skip this part and move straight onto the main event. Remember though that if you take a break from using your prostate massager, your sphincter will start to tighten back up and you may need a little more prep time when you start using it again.
Once you’re ready, you can follow a similar process with the prostate stimulator itself. Start with just the tip, make sure to take frequent breaks if you need to, and work your way up to the entire thing.
Getting it inside is only the beginning though, and once the entire device is inside your body you can really start using the prostate massager.
You can experiment with different amounts of pressure, either by manually moving the prostate massager with your hand or by changing the position of your body. Sitting on it can provide some of the most intense stimulation!
Or you can move it back and forth, making the prostate massager act in a similar way to a finger stroking the prostate gland.
Those of you with a vibrating prostate massager can simply lie back and use the remote control switch it on and ride the waves of pleasure. Simple experimenting with the different vibration patterns can be hours of fun.
Or just have sex with it in! Ejaculation and orgasm whilst using prostate stimulators can be much more pleasurable than normal!
It’s entirely up to you. Don’t be afraid to experiment and explore the world of anal stimulation with your new favourite toy!
What Do Prostate Massagers Feel Like?
If you’ve read about prostate massage at all before, you’ll have some idea of what the process is, and reasons people might do it (if you haven’t check out our articles on finding your prostate, and stimulating the prostate). You might still not be convinced though, or may just want to know a little more about how it feels to actually do it. If this is you, then you’re in the right place.
Prostate massage tends to be a very personal experience, and many men will have wildly varying experiences from one another. The different types of prostate stimulators you use can also make a large difference, with vibrating prostate massagers in particular producing completely different feelings.
I realise this isn’t very helpful if you want to know what it actually feels like. While my ultimate advice will always be to try it yourself and see how it feels, I can at least give you some ideas of things that you might experience.
I’ve tried to put the below experiences into some kind of chronological order, starting with things you’ll experience when you first start prostate play, and moving onto things that more experienced prostate massagers tend to report. You might not feel all or even any of these things in your experience, but hopefully it gives you some idea of what you could expect.
I keep encouraging you to try prostate massage yourself, so you might be wondering why I’ve chosen to go straight in with the negative feelings. Well, it’s quite simple really. Most of the negative feelings people will have come during the first few hours or sessions of anal play. This is usually down to either inexperience, or incorrect techniques or apparatus. Luckily, if you can identify these feelings early on, you should hopefully be able to adjust and move past them to begin enjoying your prostate sessions.
1 - Burning/Itching/Irritation
This might be one of the first feelings you experience when you begin using a prostate massager for the first time, and unfortunately it isn’t a positive one. These feelings can affect almost anyone who starts to put things in their butt though, so it’s important to talk about. Just because it happens to you it doesn’t mean you should be put off for good.
A lot of the time these sensations can be caused by the type of lube you use. Due to the nature of the muscles and nerves in the anus and rectum, certain types of lube can cause more irritation than others. A lot of the time this can be put down to one particular ingredient: Glycerine.
Glycerine can cause this burning sensation, and also, unfortunately, acts as a laxative. This can make things not just a little painful, but also a little difficult as the laxative action will make you want to use the bathroom while you’re trying to put things in. Not a pleasant experience.
If you want to make sure that you aren’t going to have any of these feelings, be sure to check the ingredients of your lube. If your lube has no glycerine in it but you still feel burning or itching then there may be another ingredient in your chosen brand of lube that is irritating you. It can sometimes be a little trial and error, but when you find one that works for you the feelings should largely disappear.
If you’re sure that your chosen lube isn’t what causes the burning, itching feelings, then something else must be causing the problems. Usually it will be something simple, but you should be sure to stop and check, as any kind of pain could be a sign that you are causing damage to your anus.
Sometimes you simply aren’t using enough lube. This one is quite easily tested, just use a bit more and see if it makes any difference. In a similar vein, you might not be getting the lube past your sphincter muscles. These muscles close very tightly around anything as you insert it, and can squeeze the lube off as things pass through it.
Making sure you have enough lube inside your anus is just as important as the anus itself. The prostate and the anal linings are very sensitive, and touching them essentially dry can cause a lot of irritation. If you find it difficult getting the lube inside it might be worth investing in an anal syringe.
If you are one hundred percent sure that lube isn’t your problem, then it’s entirely possible that you just aren’t in the mood. If this happens, it is best to simply stop completely, and try again later. You’ve got plenty of time to explore, but if you push yourself too far and cause permanent damage, then it might never feel good for you.
2 - Erection/no erection
An interesting part of prostate massage is how much your penis will want to get involved in the process. Some people get an erection almost instantly when stimulating their prostate, others will stay flaccid throughout most of the process. Both of these outcomes are completely fine, so don’t feel like you’re doing it wrong just because you do or don’t have an erection.
One thing to say for sure about erections when using a prostate massager is leave it alone! When a man has a traditional orgasm, he then enters into something called a refractory period. During this period, he is unable to orgasm again, and often won’t even be able to become aroused. Most men will find that after entering the refractory period, it’s very difficult to enjoy any kind of anal play, so it’s best to leave the penis alone until you’re done with your prostate.
3 - Fullness/ Not being used to something in your butt
This is probably the most common feeling among men beginning to explore their prostate regions. No matter how old you are when you start, you will have been using your anus for years and years only as an exit. Your brain also knows this, and will be programmed to assume that if something is in that area, it means you need to use the bathroom.
This doesn’t last forever. Much like in other areas of your body, this comes mostly down to habits. Humans initially dislike change, and it can take longer than you might think to adjust to something new.
The key here is to be persistent and don’t get disheartened (as long as you aren’t in pain). Over time, your body will begin to adjust to the new feelings, and break the long built up habits you have from years of the past.
4 - Need to Urinate
A lot of people will feel this one. The prostate plays an important role in regulating what comes out of your penis. Think of it like a Y junction, with one part leading to your bladder, and the other leading to the sperm factory.
When you use a prostate massager, it is very common for ejaculate matter to make its way out of your penis. This tends to be much thinner and runnier in composition than regular ejaculate, as it is lacking the actual sperm itself. Instead it is just an expulsion of the liquids that the prostate adds to your sperm.
During stimulation, when you begin to get close to climaxing, you might feel an overwhelming need to urinate. This is where another habit needs to be broken, and you need to continue with your massage. The feeling is due to the prostate’s overwhelming need to expel its fluid, and this is the ONLY thing that will come out of your penis at this time.
By the end, it might feel like you’ve wet yourself. It might look like you’ve wet yourself. But you definitely haven’t.
5 - Need to Poo
Much like needing to wee, some men will experience a strong urge to poo while using their prostate massager. Unlike needing to wee, if this happens it would probably be better to stop. There are a number of reasons you might feel this, but if you do, it’s likely that it might actually happen.
One reason was discussed above, and could be due to using a kind of lube that reacts badly to your anal canal.
Sometimes though, you end up just a little unlucky with the timing. You might have tried to evacuate the area before but not everything made it out. Or the action of prodding and poking around out there may have irritated the area a little.
Either way it’s probably for the best to stop and take a trip to the bathroom, and have another go at evacuating your bowels. You can always get back to your prostate later, but if you have an accident while doing it, it could put you or your partner off the process entirely.
Good advice to avoid this is to always have a bowel movement around an hour before you plan to start playing, and make sure your diet contains plenty of fibre. This makes it so that when you do empty yourself, everything leaves as it should.
6 - Nothing
This is unfortunately an option when considering what a prostate massage might feel like. Sometimes it can take several attempts to eventually find the pleasure you are looking for. Sometimes you will feel something but it’ll be mostly an uncomfortable feeling, or maybe just irritating.
Some men, through no fault of their own, just don’t find prostate massage enjoyable. If you find yourself in this situation, there are a number of things you can try such as different positions, using toys, different surroundings. But at the end of the day, just like anal sex, you simply might not enjoy it. Try not to write it off completely. Tastes change over time and who knows, in a few years, or with a different partner, you might end up liking it.
There are a lot of negative experiences there, and I know it might put you off. But don’t worry! It’s important that you know what you might feel on both ends of the spectrum. If you’re willing to push past this and continue, then there is plenty of evidence that using a prostate massager feels good!
7 - Fullness/ Not used to something in butt
Wait a minute, you listed this as a negative further up! Yes, I did, but it also deserves a mention down here too. Experiencing new feelings for the first time is always exciting, and the feeling of something being inside your butt is unlike any other you might experience.
Feeling full is one of the first thing you’ll notice when you start to put things inside your anus, and it can be quite an intense feeling. These muscles spend the majority of your life tightly closed to control the flow of faeces out of your body. When you start inserting things into the anus, these muscles are acting in a way that is completely unnatural to them.
The more you put into your butt, the greater the feeling of fullness will be. Pursuing a greater feeling of fullness is one of the main reasons people start to use butt plugs on a regular basis. The full feeling really is quite unlike anything you might experience otherwise. I know I’m repeating myself here, but it’s hard to put into words. The closest thing I can think of to explain it is something like the feeling of bloating in your stomach, but much more pleasant.
This feeling of unfamiliarity is often much more common when using a vibrating prostate massager too, so if you’re a complete beginner you might want to stick to the manual models instead.
Whatever your initial reaction is to the feeling, over time, most men grow to enjoy it as their muscles adjust.
8 - Intense pressure/Need to ejaculate
As the time passes, and you push your prostate closer towards an orgasm, a sense pressure will begin to build. The stimulation causes more blood to flow to the gland, and it begins to swell up with the pressure of the various liquids inside and around it. The more intense this gets, the more it’s going to feel like you need the release. Initially it might feel like a need to pee, but eventually, if you keep going long enough, you’ll feel desperate to ejaculate.
The most important thing to remember here is DON’T. You need to resist as long as you can before you start touching your penis. Some men can reach multiple orgasms before they finally give in and masturbate normally. The longer you last though, the more intense the final traditional orgasm will be. It WILL feel good!
Also, make sure you have towels and tissue. When you let this sexual pressure build up over a long time in this way, it’s very likely that when you do ejaculate properly, there’s going to be a lot of it. And it’s going to go everywhere.
9 - Waves of pleasure
One recurring theme you might find if you go reading about people’s experience of prostate stimulation is a notion of “waves of pleasure”. This is the idea the rather than the pleasure being focused specifically in your penis as it usually is with regular masturbation, the pleasure instead washes over different parts of your body.
A lot of people describe it beginning as a feeling of warmth in their pelvis or stomach. This warmth grows as the prostate is stimulated and begins to extend to other parts of the body. Most people claim it to be centred around the pelvic area, but depending on how aroused you become, it could reach any part of your body.
10 - Full body/Multiple orgasms
This is the holy grail of prostate play. When many men set out on their prostate play journeys, it is with the sole intention of having full body orgasms, or multiple orgasms
Many of you might have seen that during a really strong and pleasurable orgasm, a woman’s whole body might begin twitching and shaking. This is usually an experience of a full body orgasm. It happens a lot less often for men though.
The actual reason for this is up for debate, but the important thing to know is that with regular prostate stimulation, men can reach similar levels of pleasure relatively easily. Perhaps it is because the prostate gland is very similar to the skene’s gland (g spot) in women. We essentially have all the same parts, just organised in a different way.
The other part of orgasms that many men can find a point of jealousy is a woman’s ability to have multiple orgasms in one session. Again, this can be just as easily attained by a man during prostate massage. Some men claim to be able to have two or three in one session. Others say that they have periods of thirty minutes to an hour of constant, feel good orgasms, coming every few seconds or minutes.
When pursuing multiple orgasms as a man, it is important to only focus on prostate orgasms. These orgasms don’t cause men to enter a refractory period, meaning that he won’t need any rest following an orgasm. As soon as a penile orgasm is had though, the refractory period begins like usual and your prostate massager session may be over before you wanted it to.
If you’re pursuing this goal, but can’t seem to reach it, then a vibrating prostate massager could help.
11 - Shortness of breath/Wobbly legs/Can’t get up
Due to the intense nature of prostatic orgasms, many men experience some or all of these feelings. The orgasms can really take over your body, so catching your breath between or after orgasms can be somewhat of a challenge. This is especially true if you aren’t the one giving yourself the orgasm. A vibrating toy or even a partner performing the massage can’t be stopped as easily, so you might find yourself struggling to recover, and left at their mercy.
If the warm pleasure wave feeling reaches your arms and legs, you might find them feeling weakened. Trying to stand up in this state can be quite entertaining, as often your legs will just simply not hold your weight. I know many men will have been guilty of laughing at women who find themselves in this state, but it can be quite interesting for the shoe to be on the other foot.
12 - Drained
Whatever your feelings and experiences while using prostate massagers and any orgasms you have, one thing does seem consistent among most men. The process really takes it out of you. There seems to be a theme that once a good prostate massager session is completed, there is an overwhelming feeling of contentedness and complete relaxation. It could take several hours for you to recover, but when you do you should feel nice and refreshed.
As you can see, there are tons of different things that you might experience during prostate massage. As I’ve said before, you might not necessarily experience all of these. In my experience most of these feelings will be much more common if you choose to use a prostate massager rather than your fingers. Hopefully though, having some idea of the feelings involved might let you be a little more confident and relaxed if you’re beginning to prostate massage.
Which Prostate Massager Should You Choose?
Whenever someone is shopping for a sex toy, there’s always one burning question: Which sex toy is the best? The vast range of sex toys can be intimidating, and we don’t blame people who are turned off and just go for a wank instead!
With prostate massagers, this can be more important than ever thanks to the fact you are exploring a completely new type of stimulation, and possible the first time you’re trying anal play.
Nobody wants to go into things thinking they’re getting one of the best prostate massagers and later finding that they’ve picked something of a dud!
Finding the best prostate massagers can be a difficult task though, so we’ve put together this simple list of questions to help you in your search:
- Do you want an entirely internal experience or also some external prostate massage too?
- Do you find vibration too much? Is your prostate particularly sensitive? (Do some experiments with your finger first to see what kind of stimulation you enjoy)
- Do you want to experiment with temperature play?
- Do you like your sex toys to be soft to the touch, or firm and rigid?
- Are you planning on playing with your penis as well?
- How experienced are you with anal play and other anal sex toys?
- Do you plan on moving your prostate massager back and forth? Do you want to do this manually, or have it happen automatically?
Work through these questions, and they should help you narrow down your options and find the perfect sex toy for you. It still might take some experimentation with different prostate toys, but we assure you, it’ll be well worth the effort.
For the ultimate male sex experience, add a prostate massager to the mix!